Is Higher Ego Vulnerability Damaging Your Relationships?
Higher ego vulnerability impacts one’s sense of vulnerability within relationships—be they with family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. These interpersonal experiences are opportunities within which our weaknesses and imperfections—real or imagined—can be revealed to others. When ego vulnerability is higher, relationships become “dangerous” and we can become distant or defensive in our efforts to manage them. Either way, relationships weaken as they begin to be filtered through one’s vulnerability impacting the rationality of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This distortion occurs when too much emotion—anxiety or anger—is at work within our relationship experiences. The following excerpt from The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life presents the messages ego is telling the higher ego vulnerability person, keeping them stuck in this energy. Messages they are listening to quite well but don’t realize.
I have led you to all of your fear, which is the foundation upon which many of your thoughts, words, deeds, and physical symptoms have been built. Fear is present within your earthly life and has found its way into many of your relationships and activities. Your fear leads you to seek to gain distance from the imperfection and weakness within you and surrounding you. Fear is your friend, and you must cling tightly to it. Its purpose is to serve as a warning of all things large and small, from within and without, that may threaten your survival. This fear keeps you protected and can ensure your survival.
You must be wary of those who surround you in your earthly life. You must keep them at a distance from your weaknesses and imperfection, just as you strive to do for yourself. Defer to their thoughts, words, and deeds so your weaknesses and imperfection will remain hidden. When necessary, reveal yourself only after putting great effort into hiding what is vulnerable within you. Always remain suspicious of others for their efforts to find weakness and imperfection within you. Do not let your guard down, as they seek to weaken you with any evidence of vulnerability you have shown them.
You must be fearful in your relationships with those who are closest to you. This fear will keep you wary of any distancing that is occurring between you and them. Fear will let you know they are leaving you or that you are leaving them, prompting you to find the source of this distance. Fear will energize thoughts, words, and deeds you must use to narrow this distance, protecting you from the loss of these relationships.
Fear must also be present within your relationship with yourself. It will help you to rid yourself of your weakness and imperfection, so you will be able to like and love yourself more, and so others will like and love you more. When vulnerable, you cannot gain acceptance from yourself and others. It makes you unsafe and unprotected, endangering your survival. Fear is the friend you must use to vanquish this enemy. Let it be your sword.
If the content from this blog resonates you may want to read further in The Two Voices Within (Chapter 5) to see if you are living any of the roles we discuss linked to higher ego vulnerability energy (Perfectionist, Overachiever, High Maintenance Partner, Stressed Out Person, Overly Self-Critical Person, Clean Freak, Traumatized Person, or Order Freak). It is when living these roles, some or most of the time, that we are damaging relationships with others and ourselves. Complementary material for those who would like to heal and bring your higher ego vulnerability energy into balance can be found in Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self (Chapters 9 and 15) and EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self (Chapter 7). All three books are available on the Shop page Here.