Tag Archives: Ego Energy

Rocky Mountain High

“Rocky Mountain High”—with Accompaniment by God

“Rocky Mountain High”—with Accompaniment by God

I was listening to a CD the other day and heard the song “Rocky Mountain High” by John Denver. An incredibly moving and spiritual song capturing the majesty of a particular region of our country and the transformation of a man as he was developing a deeper relationship with himself and life. I replayed the song several times taking in the beautiful mixture of sound, imagery, and thought that John had given to the world in this and all of his music. As I contemplated his contribution and service, I came to hear the song on a much deeper level that moved me to tears.

My initial listening to this work in the 1970’s included the enjoyment of the mixture I referred to earlier. However, it included the understanding that everything about the work was solely from John. He thought the thoughts, composed the words, played the guitar, and sang the words. That he did it all alone, so I thought. But he didn’t. Yes, he did all the things I just mentioned. However, he didn’t do it all alone. The roots serving as the source of the song were not of his making. Those roots were the Love, Life, and Energy—God Is, within his being. That he drew upon to create a song that celebrated life lovingly, with honor, and a grasp of its potential for transformation. In the absence of God’s presence there would have been no “Rocky Mountain High”, or “Take Me Home, Country Roads”, or “Poems, Prayers, and Promises”… I think he knew that.

The same goes for us whether our great works involve parenting our children, providing for our family, caring for our neighbor, protecting our environment, serving our animal friends and wildlife, and engaging in our life’s work. Our great works cannot be known without the accompaniment of God. We supply the incredible thoughts, words, and deeds which allow for their making. But, the source of their creation and manifestation is the God within our being. It is the source of our being able to “write and perform” our own version of “Rocky Mountain High” within our life.

Oftentimes, people see this differently and claim their own great works as solely of their own making. This is certainly a reasonable and understandable conclusion if you think you were the only person “in the room” when it was being created and manifested. However, this impression of the absence of any accompaniment by God is often the product of seeing life through the prism of one’s ego energy, particularly if one is experiencing what I refer to in my work as higher ego power energy. A prism often creating distance from human and Divine Truth. A prism often distorting one’s ability to recognize the actual reality that is playing out in their life. A prism that often leads one to insist that one’s great works are solely of their own making. When necessary, it is the removal of this prism with ego medicine that will heal this energy and allow us to be tightly connected to human and Divine Truth, allow us to witness the actual human and Divine Reality playing out within us and before us, and allow us to realize how much we are being accompanied by God in our great works.

In peace and love,
Nick

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10 Ego Insights to Promote Our Human and Spiritual Wellness

10 Ego Insights to Promote Our Human and Spiritual Wellness

10 Ego Insights to Promote Our Human and Spiritual Wellness

If you’ve had a psychology class or read a book that touched on ego in likelihood you got a very limited, very superficial, and very incomplete description that weakens your ability to understand the extremely important influence that ego is having on your life, humanly and spiritually. By the way that’s not the fault of those courses or teachers because they were only intended to give us a basic understanding of ego, not everything. Unfortunately, if we get the impression that we pretty much know everything there is to know about ego, we are actually missing a great deal about it and what it’s doing to our life. So, knowing something about ego is as good as knowing nothing about ego, because what we know can be misleading. It can lead us to minimize the effect ego is having on our life, and cause us to miss the destructive impact that ego can be having on it. Weakening our ability to understand ourselves, each other, and God. Even though we are normal, intelligent, and spiritual beings, our ego energy can be leading us towards a lesser version of ourselves and a lesser version of life. Consequently the more we know about ego and our ego energy, the more we can remove ourselves from the ignorance and darkness that empowers ego and upon which it thrives, to the truth and light upon which we can thrive.

  1. Everyone has an Ego.

There are over 7 billion people on the planet and every one of us has an ego. Just as we all have a face, a brain, and a heart, we also have an ego. We often don’t realize this due to our ignorance of what it truly is.

  1. Ego is an Energy.

Ego is an energy and its main purpose is to protect us, keep us safe, and promote our survival—our daily and human survival. It is serving as the roots for how we will try to survive in this life, and hopefully serve us in living a fulfilling and meaningful life. Unfortunately, this effort to survive can happen in some very different and often stupid ways for different people. This requires having a deep and diverse understanding of ego and the energy that it is. Failing to do this will keep us as ignorant of it now, as we were 3,000 years ago and will be 3,000 years into the future. This will prevent any real transformation of personal and collective human and spiritual consciousness on our planet.

  1. Ego Energy is Diverse and comprised of Power, Flexibility, and Vulnerability.

Power involves the degree to which we are willing to exert influence in our life. Flexibility involves the degree we are willing to seek the truth we do not know and discard the false truths we do know. Vulnerability involves our ability to accept and work with our weaknesses and an imperfect world. Each of these components are brought to bear as we meet the challenges of life including relationships, achieving our potential and knowing our life’s purpose, change, adversity, stress, conflict, and living genuine happiness.

  1. Ego Energy can become unhealthy and imbalanced by life circumstances—not by you, ego, or God.

The experience of living too much or too little ego power, flexibility, and vulnerability are brought about by what life has brought to our door in the form of harmful, destructive, or dysfunctional people we have encountered, traumatic events, impoverished environmental circumstances, or inherited/acquired illnesses, diseases, or disorders which have brought our daily survival into question.

  1. Ego Energy is the main source of the stupidity happening in our life—not our intellect, not mental illness, and not an absence of spirituality.

We have enough intellectual ability to think intelligently and adaptively about the challenges taking place in our life when unhealthy ego energy isn’t getting in the way. The overwhelming majority of us are not being afflicted by the type of mental illness that would compromise our ability to think rationally, intelligently, and adaptively in response to what is taking place in our life. It is not due to an absence of spirituality because the Love, Life, and Energy—God Is, is always within us, though unhealthy ego energy can cause us to gain some distance from it. When we attribute any of the stupidity happening in our life or those of others, to intellectual limitations, mental illness, or the absence of spirituality, we are getting caught up in misleading explanations and missing the boat. Shooting groups of people becomes a moment of empowerment for those feeling disempowered or an opportunity to express frustration in a world that is not complying with the shooter’s version of truth.

  1. Ego Energy shapes what can become our “abnormal-normal”, which is the distorted ways of looking at ourselves, our life, our thoughts, our feelings, and our behaviors.

Ego energy is like a prism or filter through which we are looking at things and the nature of the power, flexibility, and vulnerability making up the prism defines it and the distortions we can get in how we see ourselves, our life, our thoughts, our feelings, and our behaviors, which reflect ego stupidity. It is abnormal, because what we are thinking, feeling, or doing is unhealthy, even though others can often see it. It is normal, because it becomes so typical of what we think, feel, or do that we often make it out to be normal. By the way taking a pill will not alter or remove the prism—you do!

  1. Ego Energy thrives on consistency, familiarity, predictability, and the known, which keeps us stuck in it even when we are realizing the things we are thinking, feeling, or doing are wrong.

So we can be stuck in unhealthy ego energy which entraps us in spending our life surviving rather than living. Particularly, if we don’t know what to do about it. Or, we can be experiencing healthy ego energy (which also likes consistency, familiarity…) which allows us to spend much of our life living and not just surviving. 

  1. Ego Energy can impact our spiritual wellness—weakening our ability to be the Love, Life, and Energy—God Is.

We are always spiritual because we could not exist in the absence of God’s presence in our being. But, we can gain distance from our spirituality and not be spiritually well due to unhealthy ego energy, particularly when we embrace ego illusions of separation, inequality, and unworthiness. Unhealthy ego energy weakens our ability to be the unconditional, connective, unburdened, and unlimited love that God Is. It weakens our ability to recognize and honor the presence of God in all life forms, be they human, animal, plant, insect, etc. It weakens our ability to undergo the natural healing and transformation that we were designed to experience when being the Energy—God Is. It also weakens our ability to embrace the Divine Gifts we have been given of our life, our ability to create the life in which we are living, our eternal life, and God’s presence within us, every step of our life. Unhealthy, imbalanced ego energy gets in the way of all of that and undermines our spiritual wellness. 

  1. Ego Energy is mainly healed by You—not Ego, not God, and not Life.

Ego can’t do it, because it doesn’t have an awareness of what it is and what it’s doing to your life, as it doesn’t have an intellect or a capacity for intentionality. God does not work to directly intervene in fixing our ego energy even though we can make efforts to draw upon our spiritual resources to manifest more of the Love, Life, and Energy—God Is, including the use of prayer, meditation, and service to others. Life can bring a powerful transformational event or person into our lives that can shift our ego energy in a positive direction. But, generally they have to be pretty powerful and you have to wait for them to come if they ever do. For example, a near death experience causing someone to gain greater perspective and altering or removing the prism I was talking about earlier. You are the one who can heal your ego energy where needed with the information I can share with you in my programs and books. Because, you are the only one living you! 

  1. Ego Energy can be healed by you with the use of Ego Medicine

This involves guidance from us that is contained in each of our books towards knowing: 1) What ego is and what it isn’t, 2) Tuning into your ego energy, and 3) Replacing ego rooted non-reality based thoughts with those which are reality based.

In peace and love,
Nick and Linda

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The Best of Our Humanity

Ego Energy #63—The Best of Our Humanity

The Best of Our Humanity

Our Ego Energy is a mixture of three components—Power, Flexibility, and Vulnerability. The degree to which each is present or absent will impact the way we go about living our daily lives. In Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self, we describe 125 different ego energies in an effort to help people find the ego energy they are living and determine if and where they need to undertake healing of their ego energy. From the perspective of Ego, Spirit & You, it is our intension to foster an awareness of all ego energies so we can ultimately live the great life we are meant to live! A life in which we are living the best of our humanity in concert with our Divinity.

This article is the one of a series to help you become more attuned to ego energy in the broader sense and to help you determine whether you or someone you know is displaying this ego energy. We believe that recognizing one’s ego energy places us an important step closer to understanding ourselves and each other which is integral to any healing which can occur—individually and societally—as well humanly and spiritually.

Ego Energy 63: Balanced Power—Balanced Flexibility—Balanced Vulnerability

This is the “ideal” ego energy. The one in which we are striking the healthiest balance within our ego’s power, flexibility, and vulnerability. A person with this ego energy has a healthy ability to interact with people. While being a follower or leader, depending on which is being called upon in a particular work, play, or social setting. We can approach relationships with loved ones in an interdependent manner. There are times when we can lean upon loved ones and lovingly depend on them for what they can offer to us or we can give to them. While, also being able to go it alone when necessary, without becoming distant or alienated from our loved ones. We can also love ourselves in healthy ways that allow us to love all others—known and unknown—as we manifest the Love, Life, and Energy—God Is, within our being.

We seek to achieve with all of the talents we have been given while undertaking our work with a sense of passion rather than burden. Within this effort we can see what we have learned along the journey and have been made better by it. We have no need to compare our journey with others, as such comparisons are meaningless. We have no need to build shrines to ourselves reflective of accomplishments for others to see. The service we are here to provide—human and Divine—has come into focus and we are realizing our life’s purpose.

The growth within the quality of our mind toward truth is healthy. It is within the flexibility of our ego energy that we can add, change, or remove thoughts, beliefs, values, and prejudices which belong or don’t belong there. The arbiter is always the willingness to be connected to truth rather than faulty beliefs. No matter how painful the reckoning may be. As we will ultimately be set free to live the greatest of lives by truth—human and Divine.

Our dealings with the inevitable personal, situational, societal, and technological changes that life will bring are in keeping with the understanding that life cannot and will not stand still. As the energy upon which it rests is dynamic rather than static. We work to manage change rather than avoiding, rejecting, or seeking to undo it. We embrace, honor, and follow worthy traditions which have wisdom to teach and serve us, while discarding faulty traditions that have been shown to be destructive and which were created to exploit people, wildlife, and the environment. We can also instigate needed change to address that which should not remain stagnant and unhealthy in our personal lives.

We can work with the adversity that comes in the form of failures, losses, and mistakes. Often, rooted in the imperfect nature of ourselves, others, and life which we have come to accept and learn from, rather than to avoid or reject. This work involves the ability to seek and understand relevant causes, owning what we must own in contributing to problems, and developing solutions which allow us to effectively solve problems and not just dealing with symptoms. The ultimate lesson having been learned that management of the problem is more important than the problem itself.

It is within this ego energy that we have the greatest opportunity to experience the abundance of genuine happiness that is available to us. We don’t accept substitutes for it in the form of pseudo-happiness. While understanding its ingredients include being at peace with oneself, others, and the world, being motivated by love rather than fear in one’s efforts, living in the present rather than being chained to the past or consumed with the future, and so on. Also, the gift of our other emotions including sadness, anger, fear, and guilt are playing their part in helping us to know when we are gaining distance from happiness or the direction we may need to take to get there.

The stressors and stress we encounter (e.g. financial, work, health, family, relationships, etc.) are being kept in perspective by our ability to understand and manage them. We react, rather than overreact or underreact, to their size, frequency, or seriousness, in ways that allow us to manage them, rather than letting them manage us and our lives. This includes the use of proven strategies, often rooted in the “wisdom of the ages” and the divine nature of our design such as healthy eating, exercise, rest, and recreation patterns, meditation, yoga, mindfulness practice, and cognitive therapy. Rather than quick fixes or approaches that often become unhealthy addictions including alcohol, drugs, over the counter medications, food, and cyber-related consumption.

Our management of conflict is healthy. We seek to use it as a tool by which to teach and learn from others. The difference between constructive and destructive conflict is well known and we disengage from the latter. Its signs include personal attacks and insults where nothing can be taught or learned, the focus of the issue/conflict/argument has been lost, and the emphasis is on “winning” while some degree of the relationship—if not all of it—has been lost. We can agree to disagree when no meeting of the minds can occur and remain friendly, if not friends. Never losing sight of the importance of cultivating or maintaining the relationship. EMNS-0/None.

If the description from this article resonates for you or someone you know, you may want to read further in Ego Therapy  as well as our other books EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self  and The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life. All three books are available on the Shop page Here.

In peace and love,
Nick and Linda

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Ego Energy

Ego Energy #6—Sound Familiar?

Ego Energy #6—Sound Familiar?

Our Ego Energy is a mixture of three components—Power, Flexibility, and Vulnerability. The degree to which each is present or absent will impact the way we go about living our daily lives. In Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self, we describe 125 different ego energies in an effort to help people find the ego energy they are living and determine if and where they need to undertake healing of their ego energy. From the perspective of Ego, Spirit & You, it is our intention to foster an awareness of all ego energies so that we can ultimately live the great life we are meant to live! A life in which we are living the best of our humanity in concert with our Divinity.

This blog continues a series intended to help you become more attuned to ego energy in the broader sense and to help you determine specifically whether you or someone you know is displaying this ego energy. We believe that recognizing one’s ego energy places us an important step closer to understanding ourselves and each other which is integral to any healing which can occur—individually and societally. Ego Energy—6 is presented while describing how it is impacting the lives of those who are experiencing it, which may be you or someone you know.

Ego Energy 6:  Low Power—High Normal Flexibility—High Vulnerability

This person has a very low need to exert influence within social interactions while allowing others to make the decisions. Within close relationships, she is primarily dependent and looks to her partner to make most of the decisions, particularly the important ones. Her self-esteem level is very low and she has difficulty liking and loving herself. She has low expectations and needs for achievement and will underachieve relative to her potential. She fears failure and success and tempers her aspirations in order to avoid them. The combination of her low power and high vulnerability levels contributes to a low degree of motivation to achieve.

Her ability to grow the quality of her mind is poor. She lacks respect for her own thoughts and allows others to impact her thoughts too easily. She is open to making changes in her thinking while placing a stronger emphasis on the thinking of others to do so. It would not be difficult to change this person’s mind as she is very gullible. Her ability to filter out bad from good information is weak. Her ability to determine who are the right and wrong people to listen to is also weak as she can be influenced by anyone. Some of this difficulty is due to the presence of too much emotion linked to her high vulnerability causing her to feel weak and insecure leading to lots of self-doubts.

Her ability to cope with important life changes is poor as she is emotionally consumed by them and listens too often to the wrong people giving her bad input. This often leads to denial or passive acceptance of change while failing to work with it. Her ability to cope with adversity is poor. She has difficulty taking control, may assume too much of the responsibility for having caused the problem(s) and often becomes consumed by her emotions within these situations. So, she often thinks more with her emotions than her intellect, even though it may be quite good.

This person often experiences anxiety and depression. When stressed by general or specific stressors, she readily enters the “fight or flight” mode and stays there longer than is actually necessary, having high-stress sensitivity. She becomes involved in a lower number of conflicts while trying to avoid them at all costs. When they occur, she is primarily on the receiving end, and the emotional impact is intense, causing her to be consumed by anxiety. Her conflict management is poor. Her ego management will involve significantly increasing her ego power, some decrease of her ego flexibility, and significantly decreasing her ego vulnerability. EMNS–8/High.

If the description from this excerpt resonates for you or someone you know, you may want to read further in Ego Therapy  as well as our other books EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self  and The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life. All three books are available on the Shop page Here.

In peace and love,
Nick and Linda

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Our Survival Energy

Ego—Our Survival Energy

Ego—Our Survival Energy

There has been much written about ego over the years by many intelligent, well-educated and well-intended people. Most of what has been said casts ego in a dark and negative light. It is often presented as the part of us which can only lead us into no good and becoming a lesser, if not worst, version of ourselves. A part that can only lead us toward making bad choices, being with the wrong people and for some in the spiritual community—rejecting God. There is some truth to all of this because whenever our ego energy is imbalanced in its power, flexibility, or vulnerability, bad things and suffering often do occur in our lives. We can think of many examples of unpleasant or destructive things which happen to oneself or others when ego energy is unhealthy.

But surprisingly and ironically all of that is about trying to promote our daily and mortal survival, which most would generally agree is a good thing. Our ego is “trying” to help us survive in ways that often result in some stupid, crazy or dysfunctional ways that we come up with, but it is still about survival. However, there is one important distinction. We—not ego—make the choices in the ways we are surviving and whether we are going to merely exist or fully live. That is where ego’s purpose ends and we begin. And one of the really big choices we must make is seeing the ego energy that is shaping who we are being. You are the real difference between a life of just existing, and often suffering, and one of truly living. And whether you get the best out of what you and life have to offer.

The good news about ego is that it can promote some really healthy survival called living when it is in balance. It can play a role in promoting healthy thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and physiology we can use in our daily life while experiencing a wonderful life journey. Relationships are enhanced, achievement is optimized, minds are enriched, change is understood, failure is conquered, genuine happiness is recognized, stress is eliminated, and conflict is resolved when ego energy is healthy and doing its thing. All of this is happening in our daily lives when we are truly living and healthy ego energy contributes to making this possible.

Beyond the service to our humanity and life which ego can bring forth when it is healthy, there is the impact on our spirituality and Divinity. Spiritual writers and speakers have often castigated ego by describing it as a force that can only work against our spirituality and relationship with God. This can appear to be occurring when our ego energy is imbalanced and people think it is acting with an intention and purpose that it actually doesn’t possess—we do. People with higher ego power may indulge in illusions in which they believe there is no God, there is no need for God in their life, or that they are greater than God. People with lower ego flexibility may embrace extremist religious views which espouse intolerant and rejecting views of “non-believers.” In neither case did ego play a direct role in forming these thoughts. Because ego doesn’t have an intellect, it doesn’t have an intentional capacity, and it doesn’t have an awareness of God. It is the thinker of the above mentioned thoughts, not ego, who owns them and who is opposing God, even though they often don’t realize it. The extremist isn’t serving God, though they often think they are, they are serving themselves!

What ego can “do” when it is healthy and balanced is allow for the doors to our spirituality and Divinity to open wide. So we can become whole within our humanity and Divinity. A wholeness in which illusions of inequality, unworthiness, and separation no longer serve to close doors to our spirituality and Divinity, keeping us confined to the “little picture” of life and ourselves. A wholeness in which we can fully embrace the Gifts of Life, Creating Our Life, Eternal Life and God Within which we have been given. A wholeness in which we are being the Love, Life and Energy—God Is, within our daily life.

In peace and love,
Nick and Linda

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Ego Energy

The 3 Components of Our Ego Energy

The 3 Components of Our Ego Energy

Our ego energy has a tremendous and consistent impact upon our daily lives. Whether we are involved with people at work or play, dealing with loved ones, working to achieve, coping with stress or trying to experience happiness, ego is putting its stamp on how well this is occurring. Unfortunately, the ego and our ego energy remains a hidden entity despite its constant presence in our lives. The ego does not seek to hide from us because it lacks an intellect, the capacity for intentionality and a conscious awareness of what it is. It remains hidden due to a lack of understanding of it and significant underestimation on our part of its actual impact upon our lives.

One of the most important insights to obtain, in order to shine greater light on ego and our ego energy involves the diversity of this energy. We often think about ego as only having a “power” component. This is true. Ego plays a significant role in how much control or influence we need to exert in what is taking place in our life, including the situations mentioned earlier. However, ego also involves flexibility and vulnerability, which are components of our ego energy. Ego flexibility impacts the flexibility of our mind and how well we are able to seek out truth and be connected to reality rather than being locked into faulty beliefs, values, attitudes and prejudices which diminish the quality of our lives. When ego flexibility is unhealthy and too low or too high, it can weaken our willingness and ability to seek truth and be connected to reality. Ego vulnerability impacts how well we can work with and accept our human weaknesses and imperfection as we manage the challenges of our daily life. When ego vulnerability is too low or too high we have difficulty recognizing, accepting and working with our limitations serving to diminish the quality of our lives and often the people who surround us.

It is the combination of our power, flexibility, and vulnerability that defines one’s unique ego energy and what we are bringing into important daily life experiences. When our ego components are healthy and in balance in their amount of power, flexibility, and vulnerability we are able to become the best version of ourselves and experience the best of what life has to offer in our daily lives. There is also a bonus because healthy ego energy helps to open wide the doors to our spirituality and the recognition of our Divinity. We can experience the Love, Life, and Energy—God Is, within ourselves and others. Also, the Great Gifts of our life, our ability to create the life in which we are living, our eternal life, and God’s presence within ourselves can be fully recognized and appreciated. Ego related issues involving lower or higher power, flexibility, or vulnerability no longer keep us living in the “little picture” of life and ourselves.

For those of us who may need to adjust the “volume” on their power, flexibility, or vulnerability there are tools available on our website for undertaking ego therapy while using ego medicine and focused ego meditations that can target the specific ego components you believe you need to work on. Shop page here.

In peace and love,
Nick and Linda

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Ego Energy #120—Sound Familiar?

Our Ego Energy is a mixture of three components—Power, Flexibility, and Vulnerability. The degree to which each is present or absent will impact the way we go about living our daily lives. In Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self, we describe 125 different ego energies in an effort to help people find the ego energy they are living and determine if and where they need to undertake healing of their ego energy. From the perspective of Ego, Spirit & You, it is our intension to foster an awareness of all ego energies so that we can ultimately live the great life we are meant to live! A life in which we are living the best of our humanity in concert with our Divinity.

This article is the beginning of a series to help you become more attuned to ego energy in the broader sense and to help you determine whether you or someone you know is displaying this ego energy. We believe that recognizing one’s ego energy places us an important step closer to understanding ourselves and each other which is integral to any healing which can occur—individually and societally.

Ego Energy 120 is reflective of people possessing a mixture of high ego power, low-normal ego flexibility, and low ego vulnerability.  They have intense needs for control, while having difficulty acquiring accurate thoughts/ beliefs about people, experiencing their emotions of anger, fear sadness or love, and recognizing their weaknesses. With several billion people living on the planet, it is very likely you have encountered people with this energy. In fact you may be one of them. This energy is discussed in the following excerpt from Ego Therapy in conjunction with 10 key life areas where it is impacting ourselves and others, often in unhealthy, destructive, yet unrecognized ways.

Ego Energy 120—High Ego Power—Low-Normal Ego Flexibility—Low Ego Vulnerability

This person has a very high need to exert control within work, play and social interactions while making great use of her ego space, almost exclusively.  Within close relationships, she is independent. She possesses a high level of self- esteem, which is unhealthy. She has very high expectations and needs for achievement that are likely to be unrealistic, and which she often lacks the motivation to work toward unless she has found something that is particularly stimulating to her and for which she can feel passion.

Her ability to grow her mind is poor. She is limited in her openness to making changes and relies heavily on the use of internal input (working mainly with what she already knows). Her ability to filter out bad from good internal input is poor, as is her ability to distinguish between the right and wrong people to listen to. Her ability to deal with change in her life circumstances is poor. She may approach change in an aggressive manner, with a limited degree of flexibility and a lack of motivation, contributing to recklessness.  Her ability to cope with adversity is poor. She has difficulty accepting her share of responsibility, her limited flexibility impedes her ability to respond optimally, and she lacks healthy emotion to help guide and motivate her when confronted with problems.

This person’s typical emotional experience is likely to involve pseudo happiness (when she feels everything and everyone is under her control) or an emotionally neutral quality in which she experiences an emotionless existence. Because of her very low stress sensitivity, she reacts with a limited degree of anger when confront with general or specific stressors. However, if she is experiencing secondary low ego vulnerability (detachment from one’s emotions due to earlier life trauma or victimization), she may display highly “angry” behaviors, thoughts, or physical symptoms. She becomes involved in a high number of ego collisions (conflicts), many of which she is not aware have occurred. She is more frequently on the initiating end of these collisions and their emotional impact upon her is of mild intensity, although she may display more significantly angry behaviors, thoughts, or physical symptoms if she has secondary low ego vulnerability. She may also seek out conflict for the excitement it can provide. Her conflict management is poor. Her ego management will involve significantly decreasing her ego power, some increasing of her ego flexibility and significantly increasing her ego vulnerability.  EMNS—7/High. This represents a significant need to undertake ego therapy.

If the description from this excerpt resonates for you or someone you know, you may want to read further in Ego Therapy  as well as our other books EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self  and The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life. All three books are available on the Shop page Here.

In peace and love,

Nick and Linda

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Is Lower Ego Vulnerability Damaging Your Relationships?

Is Lower Ego Vulnerability Damaging Your Relationships?

Lower ego vulnerability is reflected by an absence of awareness of one’s weaknesses and imperfections. This impacts relationships as this person is oblivious to how their weaknesses and imperfections are affecting others. They truly don’t recognize the small and large damage they are inflicting upon the relationship with their spouse/partner, children, parents, friends, and co-workers. In their case, “positive” emotional cues that most of us get—from love, anxiety, or anger—do not energize sensitivity to others and how they are treating them. They miss their callous thoughts, words, or deeds which often impact others, but they don’t realize this. Just as too much emotion can drown a relationship for those with higher ego vulnerability, too little emotion can starve one for those with lower ego vulnerability. Cold, aloof, and insensitive are often the words which describe them. The following excerpt from The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life presents the messages ego is telling the lower ego vulnerability person keeping them stuck in this energy. Messages they are listening to quite well but don’t realize.

Ego’s Voice

You have been led to live without emotion. Emotion is painful because it will let you know what you have done or not done and where you have failed. Without emotion, you need not know fear, guilt, or sadness. You need not know your earthly weaknesses, failures, imperfections, or vulnerabilities. Emotion is a doorway to them, so you must close it off to keep your distance from these enemies. The absence of emotion will make you invulnerable.

When desired, seek emotion only for your enjoyment. Let it be present in your thoughts, words, and deeds so you can be amused and entertained. Allow emotion to alleviate your boredom so you can know pleasure. Use it as a tool for this purpose. Allow it to be the maker of excitement or interest where none may exist. Make it a requirement of worthiness when forming your thoughts, words, or deeds. Abandon them when they do not provide the pleasure you desire and seek those that will.

Remain distant from those with whom you work or play. You need not experience emotion in your relationships with them, as it would expose your weakness and vulnerability to them. Both you and they are better off not knowing about your weaknesses. You must not let them know all of who you truly are. The absence of emotion will also make you less obligated to them. When necessary, use emotion to experience pleasure in your dealings with others. Be the maker of thoughts, words, or deeds that will bring forth feelings of love, anger, or fear from within yourself and others. Use them as tools for your amusement and to relieve your boredom.

You must be free of emotion in your dealings with those who are closest to you. They will reveal your weaknesses and betray you if you experience anger, sadness, or fear with them. In their absence you can keep others at a safe distance. Love and fear will bring you closer to others and lead you to need them. It will also make you obligated to them. You are safest and will survive best without these needs. Remain an island unto yourself. When necessary, bring emotion into the company of loved ones by allowing it to arouse, stimulate, and amuse you in the thoughts, words, and deeds you are choosing. Feel love, anger, or fear for the pleasure it can offer you. Emotion is safest when you are able to decide the terms of its expression. This will keep you safe and allow you to survive best.

Emotion will weaken you by forcing you to know yourself. It will lead you to see more of your vulnerability, which must remain hidden. In its absence, you can like yourself more, as you will not have to own or take responsibility for the darker parts of who you are. Allow them to remain strangers to you. Do not allow emotion to concern you with how others see you. In its absence, you can more easily, miss, ignore, or dismiss the weaknesses they are calling to your attention. Their thoughts and words can remain meaningless. This will keep you safe and help you to survive.

If the content from this blog resonates for you or someone you know, you may want to read further in The Two Voices Within (Chapter 6) to see if you/they are living any of the roles we discuss linked to lower ego vulnerability (Hedonist, Sociopath, Logician, Loner, Inattentive Person, or Sadist). It is when living these roles, some or most of the time, that we are damaging relationships with others and ourselves. Complementary material for those who would like to heal and bring your lower ego vulnerability into balance can be found in Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self (Chapters 10 and 16) and EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self  (Chapter 7). All three books are available on the Shop page Here.

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