Tag Archives: ego therapy

The Best of Our Humanity

Ego Energy #63—The Best of Our Humanity

The Best of Our Humanity

Our Ego Energy is a mixture of three components—Power, Flexibility, and Vulnerability. The degree to which each is present or absent will impact the way we go about living our daily lives. In Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self, we describe 125 different ego energies in an effort to help people find the ego energy they are living and determine if and where they need to undertake healing of their ego energy. From the perspective of Ego, Spirit & You, it is our intension to foster an awareness of all ego energies so we can ultimately live the great life we are meant to live! A life in which we are living the best of our humanity in concert with our Divinity.

This article is the one of a series to help you become more attuned to ego energy in the broader sense and to help you determine whether you or someone you know is displaying this ego energy. We believe that recognizing one’s ego energy places us an important step closer to understanding ourselves and each other which is integral to any healing which can occur—individually and societally—as well humanly and spiritually.

Ego Energy 63: Balanced Power—Balanced Flexibility—Balanced Vulnerability

This is the “ideal” ego energy. The one in which we are striking the healthiest balance within our ego’s power, flexibility, and vulnerability. A person with this ego energy has a healthy ability to interact with people. While being a follower or leader, depending on which is being called upon in a particular work, play, or social setting. We can approach relationships with loved ones in an interdependent manner. There are times when we can lean upon loved ones and lovingly depend on them for what they can offer to us or we can give to them. While, also being able to go it alone when necessary, without becoming distant or alienated from our loved ones. We can also love ourselves in healthy ways that allow us to love all others—known and unknown—as we manifest the Love, Life, and Energy—God Is, within our being.

We seek to achieve with all of the talents we have been given while undertaking our work with a sense of passion rather than burden. Within this effort we can see what we have learned along the journey and have been made better by it. We have no need to compare our journey with others, as such comparisons are meaningless. We have no need to build shrines to ourselves reflective of accomplishments for others to see. The service we are here to provide—human and Divine—has come into focus and we are realizing our life’s purpose.

The growth within the quality of our mind toward truth is healthy. It is within the flexibility of our ego energy that we can add, change, or remove thoughts, beliefs, values, and prejudices which belong or don’t belong there. The arbiter is always the willingness to be connected to truth rather than faulty beliefs. No matter how painful the reckoning may be. As we will ultimately be set free to live the greatest of lives by truth—human and Divine.

Our dealings with the inevitable personal, situational, societal, and technological changes that life will bring are in keeping with the understanding that life cannot and will not stand still. As the energy upon which it rests is dynamic rather than static. We work to manage change rather than avoiding, rejecting, or seeking to undo it. We embrace, honor, and follow worthy traditions which have wisdom to teach and serve us, while discarding faulty traditions that have been shown to be destructive and which were created to exploit people, wildlife, and the environment. We can also instigate needed change to address that which should not remain stagnant and unhealthy in our personal lives.

We can work with the adversity that comes in the form of failures, losses, and mistakes. Often, rooted in the imperfect nature of ourselves, others, and life which we have come to accept and learn from, rather than to avoid or reject. This work involves the ability to seek and understand relevant causes, owning what we must own in contributing to problems, and developing solutions which allow us to effectively solve problems and not just dealing with symptoms. The ultimate lesson having been learned that management of the problem is more important than the problem itself.

It is within this ego energy that we have the greatest opportunity to experience the abundance of genuine happiness that is available to us. We don’t accept substitutes for it in the form of pseudo-happiness. While understanding its ingredients include being at peace with oneself, others, and the world, being motivated by love rather than fear in one’s efforts, living in the present rather than being chained to the past or consumed with the future, and so on. Also, the gift of our other emotions including sadness, anger, fear, and guilt are playing their part in helping us to know when we are gaining distance from happiness or the direction we may need to take to get there.

The stressors and stress we encounter (e.g. financial, work, health, family, relationships, etc.) are being kept in perspective by our ability to understand and manage them. We react, rather than overreact or underreact, to their size, frequency, or seriousness, in ways that allow us to manage them, rather than letting them manage us and our lives. This includes the use of proven strategies, often rooted in the “wisdom of the ages” and the divine nature of our design such as healthy eating, exercise, rest, and recreation patterns, meditation, yoga, mindfulness practice, and cognitive therapy. Rather than quick fixes or approaches that often become unhealthy addictions including alcohol, drugs, over the counter medications, food, and cyber-related consumption.

Our management of conflict is healthy. We seek to use it as a tool by which to teach and learn from others. The difference between constructive and destructive conflict is well known and we disengage from the latter. Its signs include personal attacks and insults where nothing can be taught or learned, the focus of the issue/conflict/argument has been lost, and the emphasis is on “winning” while some degree of the relationship—if not all of it—has been lost. We can agree to disagree when no meeting of the minds can occur and remain friendly, if not friends. Never losing sight of the importance of cultivating or maintaining the relationship. EMNS-0/None.

If the description from this article resonates for you or someone you know, you may want to read further in Ego Therapy  as well as our other books EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self  and The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life. All three books are available on the Shop page Here.

In peace and love,
Nick and Linda

Ego Energy

Ego Energy #6—Sound Familiar?

Ego Energy #6—Sound Familiar?

Our Ego Energy is a mixture of three components—Power, Flexibility, and Vulnerability. The degree to which each is present or absent will impact the way we go about living our daily lives. In Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self, we describe 125 different ego energies in an effort to help people find the ego energy they are living and determine if and where they need to undertake healing of their ego energy. From the perspective of Ego, Spirit & You, it is our intention to foster an awareness of all ego energies so that we can ultimately live the great life we are meant to live! A life in which we are living the best of our humanity in concert with our Divinity.

This blog continues a series intended to help you become more attuned to ego energy in the broader sense and to help you determine specifically whether you or someone you know is displaying this ego energy. We believe that recognizing one’s ego energy places us an important step closer to understanding ourselves and each other which is integral to any healing which can occur—individually and societally. Ego Energy—6 is presented while describing how it is impacting the lives of those who are experiencing it, which may be you or someone you know.

Ego Energy 6:  Low Power—High Normal Flexibility—High Vulnerability

This person has a very low need to exert influence within social interactions while allowing others to make the decisions. Within close relationships, she is primarily dependent and looks to her partner to make most of the decisions, particularly the important ones. Her self-esteem level is very low and she has difficulty liking and loving herself. She has low expectations and needs for achievement and will underachieve relative to her potential. She fears failure and success and tempers her aspirations in order to avoid them. The combination of her low power and high vulnerability levels contributes to a low degree of motivation to achieve.

Her ability to grow the quality of her mind is poor. She lacks respect for her own thoughts and allows others to impact her thoughts too easily. She is open to making changes in her thinking while placing a stronger emphasis on the thinking of others to do so. It would not be difficult to change this person’s mind as she is very gullible. Her ability to filter out bad from good information is weak. Her ability to determine who are the right and wrong people to listen to is also weak as she can be influenced by anyone. Some of this difficulty is due to the presence of too much emotion linked to her high vulnerability causing her to feel weak and insecure leading to lots of self-doubts.

Her ability to cope with important life changes is poor as she is emotionally consumed by them and listens too often to the wrong people giving her bad input. This often leads to denial or passive acceptance of change while failing to work with it. Her ability to cope with adversity is poor. She has difficulty taking control, may assume too much of the responsibility for having caused the problem(s) and often becomes consumed by her emotions within these situations. So, she often thinks more with her emotions than her intellect, even though it may be quite good.

This person often experiences anxiety and depression. When stressed by general or specific stressors, she readily enters the “fight or flight” mode and stays there longer than is actually necessary, having high-stress sensitivity. She becomes involved in a lower number of conflicts while trying to avoid them at all costs. When they occur, she is primarily on the receiving end, and the emotional impact is intense, causing her to be consumed by anxiety. Her conflict management is poor. Her ego management will involve significantly increasing her ego power, some decrease of her ego flexibility, and significantly decreasing her ego vulnerability. EMNS–8/High.

If the description from this excerpt resonates for you or someone you know, you may want to read further in Ego Therapy  as well as our other books EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self  and The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life. All three books are available on the Shop page Here.

In peace and love,
Nick and Linda

Books

It's Your Ego - Stupid!
It’s Your Ego —Stupid!: Fix It to Fix Your Life

Why Stupid?

  • Stupid means our intellect is being overruled by our ego in the way we live our lives.
  • Stupid means having ego-driven, reality-disconnected thoughts, often leading us into unnecessary and painful beliefs, feelings, behaviors, and physical symptoms.
  • Stupid means spending more of our life focused on daily and mortal survival and less of it on truly living.
  • Stupid means blocking ourselves from spiritual awakening and being the Love, Life, and Energy—God Is.
  • Stupid means failing to recognize and live the Divine Gifts everyone has been given—Life, Creating Our Life, Eternal Life, and God Within.

It’s Your Ego—Stupid! exposes you to a greater understanding of your ego; symptoms of ego imbalance involving power, flexibility, and vulnerability; and insights for fixing your ego so you can live the great life you are meant to live.

You are an intelligent, spiritual being capable of becoming a better human being! —Nick Martin


Ego & Spirit books available at Amazon Ego & Spirit books available at Balboa Press Ego & Spirit books available at Barnes & Noble


Ego Therapy

Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self

Did you know any of the following about the Ego?

  • Ego profoundly impacts your health and happiness for better or worse.
  • Ego works to ensure your daily and mortal survival in ways that can lead to suffering.
  • Ego has no awareness of itself but you can become aware of it and what it is doing in your life.
  • Ego has no awareness of God but can negatively impact your movement along your spiritual path.
  • Ego can be healed by you with ego medicine that can bring this energy into balance.

Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self-offers a path of self-discovery through which you can become aware of, manage and ultimately heal your ego. You will come to understand that the ego is human energy consisting of power, flexibility, and vulnerability and that it’s possible to bring it into balance. The rewards are increased mental and emotional wellbeing, a genuine happiness and sense of peace, and an open door to heightened spiritual consciousness.


Ego & Spirit books available at Amazon Ego & Spirit books available at Balboa Press Ego & Spirit books available at Barnes & Noble


EgoSpiritualism

EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self

Before we can transcend our humanity and deepen our spirituality, we must transform our ego.

Many of us are taking steps to embrace a spiritual path and others are unaware that this path exists. We all face the same significant obstacle: our ego. An unconscious, imbalanced ego can delay, distort, disturb or destroy our efforts to transcend the limitations of our humanity and deepen our spiritual consciousness.

EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self shows us that we must transform and heal our ego—not dissolve, disown or defeat it—in order to merge our humanity and Divinity. The result is a more fully and deeply lived human and spiritual experience.


Ego & Spirit books available at Amazon Ego & Spirit books available at Balboa Press Ego & Spirit books available at Barnes & Noble


The Two Voices Within

The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life

Ego and Spirit both speak profoundly within our lives. Can you hear what they are saying to you?

These “two voices” are the main energies that rise up and give shape to our thoughts, feelings, behaviors and physical health. As we go about meeting life’s challenges—such as change, adversity, stressors, conflicts, relationships, self-esteem, achievement and our ability to experience genuine happiness—the voice of an unconscious, imbalanced ego is, unfortunately, the one we more often hear and heed, leading us into a lesser version of ourselves.

The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life invites you to hear more clearly what both of these two voices are saying so that you can speak with more of your true voice and recognize the One Voice of the Universe. This awakening will enable you to be the best version of yourself and optimally meet life’s challenges.


Ego & Spirit books available at Amazon Ego & Spirit books available at Balboa Press Ego & Spirit books available at Barnes & Noble

Ego Energy #120—Sound Familiar?

Our Ego Energy is a mixture of three components—Power, Flexibility, and Vulnerability. The degree to which each is present or absent will impact the way we go about living our daily lives. In Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self, we describe 125 different ego energies in an effort to help people find the ego energy they are living and determine if and where they need to undertake healing of their ego energy. From the perspective of Ego, Spirit & You, it is our intension to foster an awareness of all ego energies so that we can ultimately live the great life we are meant to live! A life in which we are living the best of our humanity in concert with our Divinity.

This article is the beginning of a series to help you become more attuned to ego energy in the broader sense and to help you determine whether you or someone you know is displaying this ego energy. We believe that recognizing one’s ego energy places us an important step closer to understanding ourselves and each other which is integral to any healing which can occur—individually and societally.

Ego Energy 120 is reflective of people possessing a mixture of high ego power, low-normal ego flexibility, and low ego vulnerability.  They have intense needs for control, while having difficulty acquiring accurate thoughts/ beliefs about people, experiencing their emotions of anger, fear sadness or love, and recognizing their weaknesses. With several billion people living on the planet, it is very likely you have encountered people with this energy. In fact you may be one of them. This energy is discussed in the following excerpt from Ego Therapy in conjunction with 10 key life areas where it is impacting ourselves and others, often in unhealthy, destructive, yet unrecognized ways.

Ego Energy 120—High Ego Power—Low-Normal Ego Flexibility—Low Ego Vulnerability

This person has a very high need to exert control within work, play and social interactions while making great use of her ego space, almost exclusively.  Within close relationships, she is independent. She possesses a high level of self- esteem, which is unhealthy. She has very high expectations and needs for achievement that are likely to be unrealistic, and which she often lacks the motivation to work toward unless she has found something that is particularly stimulating to her and for which she can feel passion.

Her ability to grow her mind is poor. She is limited in her openness to making changes and relies heavily on the use of internal input (working mainly with what she already knows). Her ability to filter out bad from good internal input is poor, as is her ability to distinguish between the right and wrong people to listen to. Her ability to deal with change in her life circumstances is poor. She may approach change in an aggressive manner, with a limited degree of flexibility and a lack of motivation, contributing to recklessness.  Her ability to cope with adversity is poor. She has difficulty accepting her share of responsibility, her limited flexibility impedes her ability to respond optimally, and she lacks healthy emotion to help guide and motivate her when confronted with problems.

This person’s typical emotional experience is likely to involve pseudo happiness (when she feels everything and everyone is under her control) or an emotionally neutral quality in which she experiences an emotionless existence. Because of her very low stress sensitivity, she reacts with a limited degree of anger when confront with general or specific stressors. However, if she is experiencing secondary low ego vulnerability (detachment from one’s emotions due to earlier life trauma or victimization), she may display highly “angry” behaviors, thoughts, or physical symptoms. She becomes involved in a high number of ego collisions (conflicts), many of which she is not aware have occurred. She is more frequently on the initiating end of these collisions and their emotional impact upon her is of mild intensity, although she may display more significantly angry behaviors, thoughts, or physical symptoms if she has secondary low ego vulnerability. She may also seek out conflict for the excitement it can provide. Her conflict management is poor. Her ego management will involve significantly decreasing her ego power, some increasing of her ego flexibility and significantly increasing her ego vulnerability.  EMNS—7/High. This represents a significant need to undertake ego therapy.

If the description from this excerpt resonates for you or someone you know, you may want to read further in Ego Therapy  as well as our other books EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self  and The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life. All three books are available on the Shop page Here.

In peace and love,

Nick and Linda

Is Higher Ego Power Damaging Your Relationships?

Is Higher Ego Power Damaging Your Relationships?

Lots of research has shown that a very important influence on wellness and the quality of our lives involves the relationships we experience. Relationships with our parents, children, spouse/partner, friends, co-workers, as well as with ourselves are a barometer as to how well things are going in our life –or not. For those with higher ego power the control of others is at the center of their relationships. They enjoy controlling the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors of others, particularly those closest to them. Frequently, they use manipulation, exploitation, and abuse—physical or psychological—to establish this control. Their needs come first and they bring self-absorption and narcissism into their relationships, which is destructive to them. The foundation for their higher ego power often involves exposure to permissive parenting where little if any effort was put into promoting self-control and recognizing the needs of others leading to an intense sense of entitlement. They learned that the world revolves around them and often it has.

One’s ego energy has an important say within the thoughts, words, feelings, and behaviors that occur within all relationships. The more our ego energy is imbalanced, the greater the chance that what we manifest with them is unhelpful and unhealthy—but often we don’t know it. The worse things are going in your relationships—which a person often fails to recognize—the “louder” is ego’s voice in your being. The following is an excerpt from The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life in which the impact of ego’s voice and higher ego power on relationships is presented.

Ego’s Voice

Through your power, I am helping you to dominate, control, or know more than others. You are to believe that listening to others is not necessary; that listening to others, thinking what they think, or doing what they do would be weakness, an experience that is foreign to you. Others cannot really know more than you do. Your way is right and doesn’t need to be challenged or changed—their does. Changing yourself would be foolishness and a sign of weakness. You can mistreat people when necessary, know that you are better than them, underestimate them where needed, insist on doing things the best or right way – which is your way – and be overly confident. 

You must stay independent from those who are closest to you, be they your spouse or partner, children, siblings, or parents. They cannot know as much as you do or influence you. That would be weakness. You must not communicate, compromise, or show compassion, since that would signal weakness to them. You need to do most of the thinking in the relationships with the people who are closest to you, so everyone can be protected by your wisdom. I help you to insist on your partner becoming as much like you as possible in his or her approach to things, so your partner can be a better person—you.

You are to love yourself more than anyone else, someone others can love even more than they love themselves, and someone who is more important than everyone else. Recognize that all criticism of you is destructive, only intended to weaken you.  You must know that you are entitled to and deserve all of the love that others can give to you, love that you can use to further empower yourself.

If the content from this excerpt resonates, you can read further in The Two Voices Within to see if you are living any of the roles we discuss linked to higher ego power energy (Dictator, Rebel, Narcissist, Ultra-Competitor, Control Freak, Exploiter, Independent, or Bully). It is when we are living these roles some or most of the time that we are being most destructive to others and ultimately ourselves. Complementary material for those who would like to heal and bring their higher ego power into balance can be found in Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self (Chapters 6 and 12) and EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self (Chapter 7). All three works in our trilogy are available as e-books on the Shop page here.

In peace and love,

Nick and Linda

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