Tag Archives: Power
Is Higher Ego Power Damaging Your Relationships?
Lots of research has shown that a very important influence on wellness and the quality of our lives involves the relationships we experience. Relationships with our parents, children, spouse/partner, friends, co-workers, as well as with ourselves are a barometer as to how well things are going in our life –or not. For those with higher ego power the control of others is at the center of their relationships. They enjoy controlling the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors of others, particularly those closest to them. Frequently, they use manipulation, exploitation, and abuse—physical or psychological—to establish this control. Their needs come first and they bring self-absorption and narcissism into their relationships, which is destructive to them. The foundation for their higher ego power often involves exposure to permissive parenting where little if any effort was put into promoting self-control and recognizing the needs of others leading to an intense sense of entitlement. They learned that the world revolves around them and often it has.
One’s ego energy has an important say within the thoughts, words, feelings, and behaviors that occur within all relationships. The more our ego energy is imbalanced, the greater the chance that what we manifest with them is unhelpful and unhealthy—but often we don’t know it. The worse things are going in your relationships—which a person often fails to recognize—the “louder” is ego’s voice in your being. The following is an excerpt from The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life in which the impact of ego’s voice and higher ego power on relationships is presented.
Ego’s Voice
Through your power, I am helping you to dominate, control, or know more than others. You are to believe that listening to others is not necessary; that listening to others, thinking what they think, or doing what they do would be weakness, an experience that is foreign to you. Others cannot really know more than you do. Your way is right and doesn’t need to be challenged or changed—their does. Changing yourself would be foolishness and a sign of weakness. You can mistreat people when necessary, know that you are better than them, underestimate them where needed, insist on doing things the best or right way – which is your way – and be overly confident.
You must stay independent from those who are closest to you, be they your spouse or partner, children, siblings, or parents. They cannot know as much as you do or influence you. That would be weakness. You must not communicate, compromise, or show compassion, since that would signal weakness to them. You need to do most of the thinking in the relationships with the people who are closest to you, so everyone can be protected by your wisdom. I help you to insist on your partner becoming as much like you as possible in his or her approach to things, so your partner can be a better person—you.
You are to love yourself more than anyone else, someone others can love even more than they love themselves, and someone who is more important than everyone else. Recognize that all criticism of you is destructive, only intended to weaken you. You must know that you are entitled to and deserve all of the love that others can give to you, love that you can use to further empower yourself.
If the content from this excerpt resonates, you can read further in The Two Voices Within to see if you are living any of the roles we discuss linked to higher ego power energy (Dictator, Rebel, Narcissist, Ultra-Competitor, Control Freak, Exploiter, Independent, or Bully). It is when we are living these roles some or most of the time that we are being most destructive to others and ultimately ourselves. Complementary material for those who would like to heal and bring their higher ego power into balance can be found in Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self (Chapters 6 and 12) and EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self (Chapter 7). All three works in our trilogy are available as e-books on the Shop page here.
In peace and love,
Nick and Linda
Embrace Your Spirituality!
From the perspective of Ego, Spirit & You, we are spiritual beings encountering a human experience. There is nothing new in that statement as many spiritual consciousness teachers have spoken those words of wisdom. However, we want to drill down deeper into what that means as failing to grasp this meaning leads us to believe the opposite—we are human beings trying to encounter a spiritual experience. Each of us are born with the Love, Life, and Energy—God Is woven into our being. That is the heritage of every living being that has, is, or will ever live, irrespective of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. We may have been born in the “recent” past and acquired or inherited a distinct human heritage, but the design making our existence and all of our experiences possible is 3 million years old! It is the design which links us to the Oneness of the Universe. This design allows us to share with and be connected to all beings even though we have never met them due to human parameters of person, place or time. When we are truly being the Love, Life and Energy—God Is, within our thoughts, words, and deeds, we are intimately connected to all beings—and they to us—even though we never saw, met, heard, or touched them. Love, Life, and Energy transcends all of those human experiences to experience connection to all beings—which is the essence of spirituality.
So you may ask, “What does failing to embrace our spirituality look like and how does that happen?” Failing to embrace our spirituality is reflected in the dysfunctional ways we interact with people, weaken close relationships, fail to love ourselves, misuse or abandon our potential, refuse to grow our mind, resist healthy change, embrace faulty ways of experiencing happiness, and destructively approach adversity, stressors, and conflict which enters into our lives. It is also occurring when we are not living in peace with ourselves, loved ones, and the world at large; are motivated by fear or anger rather than love; embrace faulty expectations of ourselves and others; confuse faulty wants with genuine needs; make unhealthy choices for our body, mind, and spirit; are consumed with the past or preoccupied with the future while being absent from the present; unwilling to accept ourselves; and failing to be the Love, Life, and Energy—God Is.
We experience distance from our spirituality when imbalanced ego energy involving power, flexibility, or vulnerability leads us into faulty understanding and expectations of ourselves, others, and life. These thoughts, ideas, beliefs, prejudices, illusions, etc. foster distance and disconnection from the Love, Life, and Energy—God Is which was, is, and will always exist within our being. It is hidden by an intense humanity—actually inhumanity—directed toward ourselves or others in our daily life. This is when we are disconnecting ourselves from our spirituality. When we can recognize when and how we are doing this, we can stop disconnecting ourselves and become what we were always meant to be—a child of God.
In peace and love,
Nick and Linda